I know people change as they make their way through life and sometimes the changes are more noticeable than others. Recently I made a comment to a friend about the changes I’ve seen in myself since I began writing. The change I talked about was how I pay more attention to people’s word choices. I seem to pick up on nuances by noting the choice of words they use. Not always a good thing as at times I wonder about what they mean when really it’s just a sentence and I’m reading more into it because of a word they used. I have to be careful how I interpret things and not become paranoid!
The conversation got me thinking about other changes I see in myself that I attribute to writing.
Man, have I allowed myself to give into my natural introversion! I’ve positively avoid social gatherings and I’ve had to push myself to get out and mix a little more.
Being bloody-minded (not literally - I mean the slang version!)
I’ve always had a stubborn streak and now I employ it even more. If there’s one thing about the writing life that has got up my nose it’s being told what I have to do. At first I listened to the advise and even tried to follow it at times, but now I do what I want, when I want, and how I want, and only seek advise when I need it. Even then I will listen and then go my own way!
This is a big one. I believe in writing from the heart and with passion, and because of this I have allowed my sensitive side full reign. This is great when I’m writing, but not so great when it comes to dealing with the real world. It’s not something I can just turn on and off, so things can get a little emotional at times. I refuse to squash it. It’s a part of me. I just have to deal with it as best I can.
Changing my mind
This is part of the creativity—letting myself change my mind about what I want to do and not beat myself up over it. I am quite goal driven and often have pushed myself to complete something before I start something new. This still happens, but when my mind craves a change, I will leave something mid-project and move onto a new one. Let’s be honest. I turn 50 this year and I don’t want to waste time doing something I’m not ‘feeling’ at the time. So I hit save, and move on.
It’s been a wonderful journey so far, with plenty more to come. If there’s one thing to note about the changes—that’s a real positive—it’s that all my research into crime and murder hasn’t changed me into something…a little more sinister. I’m still nice!
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